Pashuas and Trips to Hell
My computer is behaving rather eerily today, as if it's possessed by pixies
or imps. The past few days have been fatigued. I get so tired when my back
flares up and it's all I can do to just grind through a day and then drop in
the evenings. Mia, thankfully has found some kids to play with in our
area. For a year we found no one. Lately, it's been a bit easier, although
one of her friends is a virtual tornado and just demolishes anything and
anywhere she goes. It's always four times as stressful whenever this one is
about, so I try to limit their playtimes to weekends when I have more
attention to spare.
I also met my new neighbor yesterday. She's a nice lady going through a
divorce after 27 years of marriage. She's never lived on her own and she
has...(trumpets play) a responsible, creative 16 year old daughter!!!! Can
you say babysitter???? Wow! It's been a while since I've met someone I
would trust with my kid. Then again, I'm neurotic when it comes to that.
Mia goes riding tonight, so I can get a bit ready for her un-birthday party
which is this Saturday. Then I leave on Sunday for San Francisco for some
training for work.
We'll get out new bunny on the 23rd of this month, so that is exciting too.
Oh, the next door neighbor has a house-bunny too!
I'm hoping to be able to take the computer (of which may be on it's last
leg) to a coffee shop on Rosh Hashanah and just allow myself to sink into
the state needed to really crank out some pages. I think I have
*everything* written for the NOX story, but it's not in order. I write
incidents without segues. So now I need to print out *all *those things and
sit down and put them in some sort of order then glue them together. I also
need to know how the Pashua will affect someone...what it will cause, and
how that effect will get one to The Source.
In my astral/magick work, I've been realizing that my evenings are not
sufficient for the ranges I'm trying to span. In my younger years I never
hesitated to allow my projections to go as far as they wanted to. Now,
since becoming a parent, I tent to make sure I'm moored to this plane a
little tighter than before. I need to make sure I don't get "too far
away", which is ironic, since I'm also aware that "here" and "there" are the
same place. All places are this place, and all that. There is *no way* to
get "too far away". Still I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of lots more things since 2003. But I try not to let them hold
me back. But I think over the coming trip I'm going to take my evenings and
do some traveling. See if I can gain some confidence in making my overnight
jaunts to Hell and back without flight delays, so to speak
